heartlands | limelight inbox

[ offers him a small smile as he steps in and then a short beat: ]

Before we go anywhere can I ask for a hug first?

[ he knows he doesn't have to but he asks anyway ]

Come on, you know you can do that anytime.

[hugs!!]

Hey. Everyone has their PDA levels.

[ said like they're not holding hands 24/7 or kissing in public, but that's not in the middle of sun sign. it's also not why he really asked this time. ]

[ hugging though!!! slightly longer than normal, but not too long. ]

Thanks, I needed that.

Oh, no. A hug. How scandalous.

[after that, though:]

You want to go back to my room, or...?

[ rolls his eyes, but at least it's good humored. ]

If that's okay? I didn't think to bring snacks this time.

I'm sure we've got stuff in the kitchen if you're hungry at any point.

[ shakes his head. ]

I'm okay. [ amends: ] I'm not hungry.

Okay.

[takes his hand and starts towards his room, then]

[ takes his hand back and follow moving to sit on the edge of the bed once they're in. ]

- For the record, nothing's happened since we last saw each other. Promise.

[takes a seat next to him]

Then just kind of... things building up?

[ He takes a breath. ]

A little bit?

A lot, actually, but I think it's more - there's something stuck in my head that was said to me earlier that I can't get out, too. So that's not helping.

Can I ask what it was, or - would talking about it just kind of make it stick more?

I think it'll stick around even if you don't ask?

[ It's said lightly before he goes quietly ]

[ closes his eyes and then tries, ]

Forte got onto me earlier about not relying on him, but it's not that I don't - there's just some stuff I know hurts him. So I avoid it, like a lot. But then when he found after that vision he kept asking how I was.

I knew he wouldn't like the answer, I told him he wouldn't. And I was right?

[ A beat. ]

This isn't like I'm a mad at Forte thing. He's really valid for getting upset about the things he does. It's more like -

[ groans and flops back on the bed ]

This is going to sound really bad.

Even if it does, which I doubt, I can take it. Promise.

[ thinks about it and shakes his head, tries after a moment: ]

Who's a person you really care about and wouldn't want to hurt? Just anyone.

You mean, other than you?

[ THAT MAKES THIS WORSE. ]

Okay. So me, sure.

[ It's said weakly. He'll appreciate it more in a minute but first: ] So say that you knew how I was feeling about things pretty much all the time?

Or that you knew that - even if we never talked about it - there was something that hurt me. And your feelings on it might be different? Or maybe you don't have an opinion yet, but having a different opinion would hurt me?

What would your first instinct be?

Edited 2025-01-25 19:21 (UTC)

...I'd probably want to be really careful with how I brought it up, at the very least. I think I get it.

[ nods, ]

So. Yeah.

I think - know - a lot of the times it's hard for me to bring stuff up. So I try not to?

I don't think that sounds terrible. I mean, it's kind of you not to want to upset him.

You know you can always talk to me about it, but - is there anyone else, if you're not comfortable discussing it with him?

[ opens mouth. closes it like he decides what he was saying wasn't what he wanted: ]

[ shakes his head ]

I was trying to say - I think he's right.

I struggle a lot with trying to rely on people that way because when they worry I worry? And I think sometimes I can't figure out of it's what I'm feeling or they're feeling so it's easier if I don't -

[ Feel probably. ] And then yesterday happened and I feel [ is there a word ]

I feel like part of me in still in that room screaming.

[ nailed it. ]

Edited 2025-01-25 22:07 (UTC)

[...]

What do you think that part wants to say?

... that it's hurt and mad, probably.

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1/2

2/3 i lied

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