[ He's equally quiet for a moment and goes to open his mouth to apologize, but Gingham speaks first. ]
[ And that quiets him again - kneejerk response saying no, it'll be bad but Gingham wouldn't offer if he didn't understand that and then there's - Well. He half lied to him about the one before last (is it a lie if it was delicate omission?) ]
[ squeezes his hand back and stays that way a good few moments before answering ]
I'm not sure "okay with it," is something I'll feel if it does suck. But hopefully it doesn't suck, maybe it'll just be another family dinner.
[ He wants to hope it is, but given his track record he knows better as he pulls out the box of bandages and offers him one - ] I think you're just supposed to put it on?
[ There's not hesitance so much as curiosity, quiet concern and wanting to listen to Gingham first. His mouth forms a small line as he gives a tiny shake of his head. ]
If it's who I think it is, that's not surprising.
[ He tries for some mild light-heartedness. There's only one person in his mind who could do something terrible that he's seen in visions so far - and she's appeared in practically every one.
But maybe some part of him believes she wouldn't, in spite of it all. Especially when he takes a new bandage from the pack and moves to apply it. ]
[ He'd be more interested in the power side of things if it weren't for the everything else that comes with it. It's what got Rio in such a tizzy, she'd said in a memory prior. It makes sense Rio is here now but then - ]
[ His hand tightens uncomfortably around Gingham's before the vision ends and it's only after and he realizes in the quiet stillness that follows that he lets go, a more compartmentalizing stillness than Phoenix usually has shown before he takes a breath: ]
[ That much is said a little more quietly, because that's the problem. He makes a face because Goose had already suggested he was too forgiving. There's more quiet as he rubs at his face thinking. ]
No.
I-He's never shown powers like that. It doesn't even look like it took place on the Road? Westview, Agatha's House?
[ he's trying to piece that together as he breathes out. ]
She'd already mentioned how Rio was upset. That he was alive. That he could bring his brother back. So even if he did somehow go she's right?
[ Quiets for a long moment himself. He lets it sink in. A part of him wants to argue but he gives a very short shake of his head before knocking his shoulder against Gingham's. ]
Me saying anything opposite would be highly hypocritical... And you're right. We don't know what happens. Just because everyone's supposed to die eventually doesn't mean it's then -
And besides, I'm still here. We're both still here.
[ He tries to feel more optimistic than he does. It almost works. ]
Sometimes, I'm not even sure making it through a performance is comforting...? I don't want to get used to this - I don't want anyone to.
[ a beat. ] But I guess it depends on how real you believe visions are. I mean, in the way of "will this have an impact on us?" "can this happen here?".
Because if so... I'd think Death. Death of all the universe would have to trump Legends of Estoria, right?
...Then it wont have an impact. Because I'm not accepting that something neither of us had any choice in is going to take us apart permanently. Neither of us are going to die like that.
[ "I'm not sure we get a choice," the pessimistic side of him wants to say. But Gingham knows that. And the pessimistic side holds so much less weight than the other - the side that ones to believe and wish for the best. ]
[ Slowly, gently he pulls away some to nudge his forehead against Gingham's instead - to look him in the eye. ]
We won't. We aren't.
We've still got a whole life ahead of us. One that doesn't have to include staying on this cruise ship forever.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Re: day 245 probably post-ish meeting
Do you want me to check it out first?
Re: day 245 probably post-ish meeting
[ And that quiets him again - kneejerk response saying no, it'll be bad but Gingham wouldn't offer if he didn't understand that and then there's - Well. He half lied to him about the one before last (is it a lie if it was delicate omission?) ]
... If you're sure you're okay with it.
Re: day 245 probably post-ish meeting
[giving his hand a squeeze]
As long as you're okay with it.
Re: day 245 probably post-ish meeting
I'm not sure "okay with it," is something I'll feel if it does suck. But hopefully it doesn't suck, maybe it'll just be another family dinner.
[ He wants to hope it is, but given his track record he knows better as he pulls out the box of bandages and offers him one - ] I think you're just supposed to put it on?
[ and should he do so it's a memory of betrayal. ]
Re: day 245 probably post-ish meeting
You sure you want to see it?
Re: day 245 probably post-ish meeting
... When you ask it like that it makes me feel like I have to now?
Re: day 245 probably post-ish meeting
[taking it off regardless]
1/2
If it's who I think it is, that's not surprising.
[ He tries for some mild light-heartedness. There's only one person in his mind who could do something terrible that he's seen in visions so far - and she's appeared in practically every one.
But maybe some part of him believes she wouldn't, in spite of it all. Especially when he takes a new bandage from the pack and moves to apply it. ]
Re: day 245 probably post-ish meeting
[ His hand tightens uncomfortably around Gingham's before the vision ends and it's only after and he realizes in the quiet stillness that follows that he lets go, a more compartmentalizing stillness than Phoenix usually has shown before he takes a breath: ]
He knew she was only after power.
Re: day 245 probably post-ish meeting
...Have you gotten back anything that you think might be after that, or—?
Re: day 245 probably post-ish meeting
[ That much is said a little more quietly, because that's the problem. He makes a face because Goose had already suggested he was too forgiving. There's more quiet as he rubs at his face thinking. ]
No.
I-He's never shown powers like that. It doesn't even look like it took place on the Road? Westview, Agatha's House?
[ he's trying to piece that together as he breathes out. ]
She'd already mentioned how Rio was upset. That he was alive. That he could bring his brother back. So even if he did somehow go she's right?
[ You can't escape death. ]
Re: day 245 probably post-ish meeting
You told me after I took mine that you'd keep hoping it doesn't turn out the way it seems like it will. And I'm gonna do that for you, too.
But I know that doesn't mean it's any less hard or scary to see.
Re: day 245 probably post-ish meeting
Me saying anything opposite would be highly hypocritical... And you're right. We don't know what happens. Just because everyone's supposed to die eventually doesn't mean it's then -
And besides, I'm still here. We're both still here.
[ He tries to feel more optimistic than he does. It almost works. ]
Re: day 245 probably post-ish meeting
We're both still here. And I'm not losing you if I have anything to say about it.
Re: day 245 probably post-ish meeting
Let's not lose each other.
Re: day 245 probably post-ish meeting
Re: day 245 probably post-ish meeting
Re: day 245 probably post-ish meeting
I don't like how they seem to keep getting worse.
Re: day 245 probably post-ish meeting
I'm not even sure what worse means. Like at this point.
Re: day 245 probably post-ish meeting
Re: day 245 probably post-ish meeting
Re: day 245 probably post-ish meeting
Re: day 245 probably post-ish meeting
[ a beat. ] But I guess it depends on how real you believe visions are. I mean, in the way of "will this have an impact on us?" "can this happen here?".
Because if so... I'd think Death. Death of all the universe would have to trump Legends of Estoria, right?
Re: day 245 probably post-ish meeting
...Then it wont have an impact. Because I'm not accepting that something neither of us had any choice in is going to take us apart permanently. Neither of us are going to die like that.
Re: day 245 probably post-ish meeting
[ Slowly, gently he pulls away some to nudge his forehead against Gingham's instead - to look him in the eye. ]
We won't. We aren't.
We've still got a whole life ahead of us. One that doesn't have to include staying on this cruise ship forever.
Re: day 245 probably post-ish meeting
Re: day 245 probably post-ish meeting
Re: day 245 probably post-ish meeting
Re: day 245 probably post-ish meeting
Re: day 245 probably post-ish meeting
Re: day 245 probably post-ish meeting
Re: day 245 probably post-ish meeting
Re: day 245 probably post-ish meeting
Re: day 245 probably post-ish meeting
Re: day 245 probably post-ish meeting
Re: day 245 probably post-ish meeting
Re: day 245 probably post-ish meeting
Re: day 245 probably post-ish meeting
Re: day 245 probably post-ish meeting
Re: day 245 probably post-ish meeting
Re: day 245 probably post-ish meeting