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Even if he was angry at her, it doesn't mean he wanted that to happen, right...? To any of them. And it sounds like he had a right to be upset.

[there's another pause, though, as he nods]

I think that's what it's been like for all of us. That they're getting more vivid, I mean. That makes it even harder when you see things like this.

[ Not me rolling a 20 on Phoenix absolutely understanding that Billy wanted Agatha dead in that moment. ]

[ He breathes out. ]

Dixie even said it was only the beginning. That all of this? It's barely gonna been a month, there's still so much more to come. She didn't fully say if it was about visions, but if they're all just going to be more and more intense...

...You know you don't have to keep watching them, right? I mean, maybe it's not my place to say, but if they're only going to get more vivid and yours have been hurting you... I just want to make sure you know you have a choice.

I know.

[ He finally looks at Gingham properly, shifting to make it more comfortable as he does before shrugging: ]

I guess - I've just been curious? Especially if all of this is important to us. Maybe not having a past is a part of it.

[ He frowns slightly looking away. ] ... I'll probably wait a while before watching the next one. Whenever that is. Who knows, maybe the Disorder won't win anymore performances for a while.

I get it. I mean - why you would want to know more about him. I just want to make sure you're going to be okay.

[gives his hand a squeeze]

I'm sorry you got back another one like that. I don't know what seeing something like that would feel like, exactly, but - I can imagine it's really hard.

[ Is he ever going to be okay??? (No) Which is why he gracefully doesn't say that he's getting used to them being bad. ]

I'm... actually really glad to hear you don't know what it's like. I hope you never have to, but if it does - you can tell me about it. As - [ he tries to force a laugh ] - uncomposed as I am right now, I'm actually pretty good with other people's issues.

[ get it telepathic joke ]

For what it's worth, you can always feel free to be uncomposed around me.

[it's a light joke, and he gives his hand a squeeze]

Speaking of which... Doing any better, or do you want to talk about it more? [...] I guess that doesn't need to have to be an or, we can still talk about it even if you're doing a little better.

Oh, can I?

[ He shifts forward to snatch up the ouija board and briefly lets go of Gingham's hand to get up. ]

I wouldn't say I'm doing better — [ The determination to be honest is strong as he puts the item back on the shelf next to the stuffed lion. His shoulders slightly drooped before he tilts his head back to look at him ] but we are supposed to be doing a lot better things than worrying about something that may or may not be real.

[ He smiles, a real smile in spite of how he otherwise feels (how it doesn't fully reach his eyes) ] How about I go get the drinks real quick and you get comfortable? Then, you can see my favorite romance movie.

[hesitates for a moment, watching him as he goes]

I mean - if that's what you want to do, sure. But I just want to make sure you know I really don't mind talking about it more if you'd like to. I think it's natural to be worried after seeing something like that.

I know you don't mind.

[ His hands drop to his side and at least now, he can (mostly) hold Gingham's gaze. ]

And I am worried. I probably won't ever not be worried? About what I see. You. Dove. Everyone. But we can't do anything about it, it doesn't change them. I don't think they're going to get better and I'm definitely going to keep thinking about them. A lot.

[ which is probably why that ring still lies in his pocket, his fingers twist worriedly and he drops his gaze now. ]

But whatever happened in those visions, if they're real - they have to be in the past. Right now, what I want to focus on is the now. It's really the only thing we have, right?

[quiet for a long moment]

Okay. But if it ever gets to be too much - I'm always willing to listen. I don't want you to think that it's going to worry me more if you talk to me about it, because that'll never be the case. What matters more to me is that you're as okay with them as you can be, so if there's anything I can do... I mean, you'd offer the same, right?

[trails off and then nods]

But for now - a movie sounds great if that would help you take your mind off it.

That's not a question, of course I would. [ He says it almost immediately, far more confident then he's spoken in the past few minutes. He's not entirely sure there's anything Gingham can do about it - there's definitely not anything he can do about it. ]

[ He does know for now a break is good, even if he scratches the back of his neck. ] I was going to ask if you... wanted to be there if I took them? Or together? But that sounds weird and you probably have plans with Sun Sign.

[ Huffs a breath. ] I can think of, like, a number of things that can take my mind off of it but there's one above the others.

I definitely want to be there when you take them, if that's alright with you. I've been taking mine with Satin recently, but - even if we keep doing that, I can text you as soon as I've seen them so I can talk about mine with you, if you want. Either way, it doesn't sound weird.

One above the others?

You should keep viewing them with Satin, especially if that works for you two. But I would like to hear about them? And it's okay if it's ever not.

[ He tries not to look briefly amused, and it falters quickly. ]

You. Anything with you. Duh? Like just being with you.

I don't mind telling you at all. I can fill you in whenever you want.

[there's a small smile]

Well... Ditto, you know?

After the movies? Or tomorrow, maybe?

[ he scrubs the back of his neck, ]

I'm going to go get our drinks before I say anything sappier.

Tomorrow sounds great. And you can always be as sappy as you want.

[stands to find a more comfortable place on the bed rather than the floor though]

You better not regret that one later.

[ It's half a joke tossed over his shoulder before coming back in. He's got four cups of soda to put down beside the bed before offering: ]

So. Just to check have you ever seen Love, Sam or is this one going to be new for you?

Ooh... I've heard of it, but I haven't gotten around to seeing it yet. You said it's your favorite?

In this genre, yeah. But if you have a better choice, I'm happy to try it.

Nope! I'm curious now. Let's start with this.

Then you're in for a treat. Just one second.

[ He goes to grab the popcorn while turning on and setting up the projector as well as the movie, before coming to join him on the bed. ]

Popcorn, soda... pastries on the desk if you want to get up from being comfortable for them.

Edited 2025-01-02 08:04 (UTC)

[takes a kernel and nods]

Whenever you're ready.

[ Settles in more comfortable and presses play ]

Okay, but also know if this isn't a hit with you I'm calling b.s. it feels like even more your movie than mine.

Edited 2025-01-02 08:13 (UTC)

I bet I'll really like it, then.

[leans against him as it starts playing]

Re: day 334

restitui - 2025-01-03 03:05 (UTC) - Expand